A private academy bribes Dale into enrolling Joseph to play quarterback, but he soon learns that his family doesn't fit in because they're not rich. ...

Peggy hires actors and writes a script to help her open house for a home she can't sell. But instead of selling the house in question, she gets carried away and winds up ...

Kahn uses karaoke to boost his self confidence and to help cope with his domineering father-in-law's latest visit. ...

Peggy makes drastic changes around the home after a pop family therapist has her convinced that their family is having intimacy problems, which only pushes Hank and Bobby ...

While Hank helps out with Enrique's daughter's Quinceanera celebration, Peggy threatens to run Enrique's family out of its neighborhood by introducing it to the Arlen art ...

Hank seeks revenge when he finds out that his car salesman has been taking advantage of him for 20 years, but he gets in trouble when his plan gets out of hand. ...

Dale discovers that the daughter of one of Bill's lady-friends shares the same DNA as Joseph. He comes to the conclusion that he is the father of both of them. ...

Hank helps Buck Strickland and Sugarfoot's find a way to get around the Arlen City Council's new ban on trans fats. ...

Ladybird begins acting erratically during thunderstorms, and Hank must resort to consulting a dog spiritualist or risk losing her to Animal Control. ...

Hank reluctantly joins Dale on a vocation vacation, where Dale will learn basket weaving. However, problems arise when Dale is completely incompetent and Hank becomes the ...

Minh joins Dale's gun club to learn how to shoot skeet. Hank investigates who is putting their garbage in his garbage can. ...

Bobby is in charge of putting together a carnival at Tom Landry Middle School, but a school-appointed diversity counselor takes all of the fun out of it. ...

Hank joins a co-op store because the steaks they sell are the best in town. However, he is forced to take extreme measures to get organic steaks when Mega-Lo-Mart buys ou ...

Bobby's parents have planned a night out, but the babysitter plans fall through. Cotton volunteers to watch Bobby. A nervous Peggy leaves Cotton with instructions to watc ...

Bobby, Joseph, and Connie are harassed at a water park by a group of bullies, and only Boomhauer can save them. Meanwhile, Bill becomes a minor local celebrity after he s ...

Bobby is selected to be a powder-puff cheerleader, but Peggy and the rest the PTA threaten to disband the group after the PTA president decides that it's sexist. ...

Bobby protests against commercialism at Tom Landry Middle School when he discovers that a cute girl is suddenly interested in him because of it. ...

Hank and the guys take Bobby to to a Texas/Nebraska college football game. During the game, they help themselves to an empty luxury suite, which puts them in a precarious ...

In order to pay for the big expensive wedding of her dreams, Luanne's husband-to-be Lucky sues Dale in hopes of getting a big cash settlement, like what he's received in ...

Bill unwisely allows some crazed muscle-bound male bodybuilders to use the neighborhood's exercise equipment if in exchange they help him get in shape. ...

Dale believes that he has traveled back in time. Stress over a past relationship causes Nancy to suffer hair loss. ...

Peggy gets fooled into selling kitchen supplies. The real Rusty Shackleford confronts Dale. ...

Hank becomes obsessed with a video game based on his own life. Bobby attempts to improve his physical condition. ...

Bill becomes involved with the female pastor at his church, much to the horror of Hank and his fellow parishioners. ...

Peggy becomes a realtor. Hank gets a new set of golf clubs with a disturbing past. ...

Hank's cousin, ZZ Top's Dusty Hill, comes to Arlen and makes Hank the butt of all his jokes for his new reality television program. ...

Luanne goes to prom with a fifteen-year-old boy because she missed her own prom, and she wants to make Lucky pay attention to her. ...

Bill discovers that he and his cousin are the end of the Dautrieve family line, so he tries to find a way to preserve his family legacy. ...

The Hills create a snake scare when a large python is released into the sewer system, and a couple of greedy city contractors try to take advantage of the situation. ...

Peggy becomes friends with a local drag queen. But Peggy doesn't know that her friend's really a man, and her friend doesn't realize that Peggy's a real woman. ...

Lucky, Luanne's good-for-nothing boyfriend, won't marry her until he passes his ged test; when he asks Peggy to tutor him, she schemes to end their relationship by teachi ...

Hank's new neighbors' son won't stop harassing him, and his parents refuse to do anything about it. So he takes matters into his own hands, which gets him in trouble with ...